So, it's been a long time since my last post, and my life has changed dramatically. I will someday write a book- but not today. My purpose of today's post is to express the value of the true friendships I have experienced over the last 3 months and possibly inspire you to rekindle an old friendship, patch up a bruised friendship, or make the time to introduce yourself to someone new and possibly help them along life's journey.
My closest friend, literally she lives next door to me, is my Maryville friend Beth. Although she has a very busy life mothering 3 children, coaching soccer and basketball, and being a loving and adoring wife to her husband; she has found the time and energy to pull me through some sleepless nights, overwhelming bouts of sadness and heartache (drowning in tears), crazy days of parenting my two toddlers, and really all the hard moments that are leading me to my milestones.
She has been there. With a "how ya doin today? phone call everyday at 8 am", open arms, chips and salsa, a glass of wine, lots of laughter, and most importantly the Word of God. She helps me remember that the all sovereign God is at hand, that He loves His children, and that my faithand obedience to God will bring love, joy, mercy, and grace to me and my children.
The priceless gift of friendship-not being alone is one thing, but being lifted up in the midst of trials and tribulations - that's what friends are for. What a real life testimony to me of the power of God's love from one family to another. "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:39
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Are You Afraid to Parent?
Friends and/or acquaintances make comments all the time to me about how their kids behave poorly. Here are some of the comments:
"I tell them to go to bed and they just ignore me."
"I have to hide certain foods in the house so my kids won't eat it all."
"My little boy screams at me when I ask him to come in for dinner."
"I hate taking my children to the store because they argue and complain the whole time."
"We can't have a family meal because my children refuse to sit down at the table to eat."
It appears to me that their children have taken over and are holding them prisoner in their own home. It is so disappointing and upsetting to me to see parents absolutely uneducated about parenting and losing total control of their children. When there is a lack of parenting and very little boundaries set in a home the children will feel three very powerful emotions: anger, fear and sadness. And out of these 3 emotions you will train a child to be disrespectful, unhealthy and unhappy.
Parenting takes work but the results are worth it. As a society we research all the best beaches to go on for vacation or what car has the best ratings and options or the best diets on the market. But we won't pick up a book or get expert advice about how to parent. It blows me away.
It is time to stop being afraid to parent your child and start making some tough decisions about what are role really is when our baby enters the world. Let me explain something to parents out there, you will not be able to love your child into obedience or hug them so much they become respectful. A new toy will not motivate them to follow the rules or listen to good guidance. It is time to step up and do your number one job....Parenting! These children cannot do it on their own.
Just a thought....
"I tell them to go to bed and they just ignore me."
"I have to hide certain foods in the house so my kids won't eat it all."
"My little boy screams at me when I ask him to come in for dinner."
"I hate taking my children to the store because they argue and complain the whole time."
"We can't have a family meal because my children refuse to sit down at the table to eat."
It appears to me that their children have taken over and are holding them prisoner in their own home. It is so disappointing and upsetting to me to see parents absolutely uneducated about parenting and losing total control of their children. When there is a lack of parenting and very little boundaries set in a home the children will feel three very powerful emotions: anger, fear and sadness. And out of these 3 emotions you will train a child to be disrespectful, unhealthy and unhappy.
Parenting takes work but the results are worth it. As a society we research all the best beaches to go on for vacation or what car has the best ratings and options or the best diets on the market. But we won't pick up a book or get expert advice about how to parent. It blows me away.
It is time to stop being afraid to parent your child and start making some tough decisions about what are role really is when our baby enters the world. Let me explain something to parents out there, you will not be able to love your child into obedience or hug them so much they become respectful. A new toy will not motivate them to follow the rules or listen to good guidance. It is time to step up and do your number one job....Parenting! These children cannot do it on their own.
Just a thought....
Monday, February 22, 2010
Through the Eyes of a Mary
I think Marys must drive Marthas nuts. I somehow singlehandedly ruined a Women's Tea Party at my church. I don't think I ruined it for everyone, just the Marthas at my table.
My friend and partner in Maryville, Jennie, went with me to the Women's Tea Party. We entered to a beautifully arranged sanctuary of tables and women. All tables uniquely decorated and all women oogling and awing the arrangements. We were assigned a table and went to find it and get settled in.
Mary mistake number one: I didn't look for a name tag on the pushed in seats and so I sat in a seat of my choosing. Jennie sat next to me.
Mistake number two: I took the coffee mug and proceeded to get coffee.
When we returned to the table, we entered into a disturbing sight. A group of Marthas were at their wits end. The assigned seating was all messed up. Basically I took someone's seat. No biggy I thought, I will just move to another seat. As any Mary would see, it was no big thang. I moved seats and problem was solved.
Unfortunately, the problems just began. Because as you remember, I took the mug from the first seat.
Our table was called to the buffet line and we chatted all through line and returned with a plate full of food back to our table. Seconds later the Marthas were in a tizzy. Where is "THE MUG". Where could it be? The head Martha has been looking all over for it! Goodness gracious!!!
Jennie laughed and reached over and gave the unused mug in front of me to the lady without a mug. "Here is the mug!" she said, "mystery solved". I giggled and said "Whoops I must have stolen it from your spot." I thought I was funny saying the word "stolen". They took it literally and whispered amongst themselves "She (eyes glaring) stole the mug". They were visably angry with me and my inconsiderate action of mug stealing.
I looked at them and said "Wow"! I then couldn't contain myself and started laughing. Which made Jennie laugh. She, however, is much more gracious than I am and offered to get the mugless Martha a cup of coffee. The funny part was Martha let Jennie get her a cup of coffee. The whole event didn't stop there but it definitely began the mood.
We now call that day "Tea Party at the Angry Table"
It takes 10 Marthas to deal with 1 Mary.
My friend and partner in Maryville, Jennie, went with me to the Women's Tea Party. We entered to a beautifully arranged sanctuary of tables and women. All tables uniquely decorated and all women oogling and awing the arrangements. We were assigned a table and went to find it and get settled in.
Mary mistake number one: I didn't look for a name tag on the pushed in seats and so I sat in a seat of my choosing. Jennie sat next to me.
Mistake number two: I took the coffee mug and proceeded to get coffee.
When we returned to the table, we entered into a disturbing sight. A group of Marthas were at their wits end. The assigned seating was all messed up. Basically I took someone's seat. No biggy I thought, I will just move to another seat. As any Mary would see, it was no big thang. I moved seats and problem was solved.
Unfortunately, the problems just began. Because as you remember, I took the mug from the first seat.
Our table was called to the buffet line and we chatted all through line and returned with a plate full of food back to our table. Seconds later the Marthas were in a tizzy. Where is "THE MUG". Where could it be? The head Martha has been looking all over for it! Goodness gracious!!!
Jennie laughed and reached over and gave the unused mug in front of me to the lady without a mug. "Here is the mug!" she said, "mystery solved". I giggled and said "Whoops I must have stolen it from your spot." I thought I was funny saying the word "stolen". They took it literally and whispered amongst themselves "She (eyes glaring) stole the mug". They were visably angry with me and my inconsiderate action of mug stealing.
I looked at them and said "Wow"! I then couldn't contain myself and started laughing. Which made Jennie laugh. She, however, is much more gracious than I am and offered to get the mugless Martha a cup of coffee. The funny part was Martha let Jennie get her a cup of coffee. The whole event didn't stop there but it definitely began the mood.
We now call that day "Tea Party at the Angry Table"
It takes 10 Marthas to deal with 1 Mary.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Are you Christian, Mormon or Catholic?
My 10 year old daughter (bless her heart) must know what people believe at the very beginning of any relationship. And in her world you are either Christian, Mormon or Catholic. Three catagories only...pick one.
If they answer Christian, then she must know if they love Jesus. Who is He? Do you believe God or do you believe IN God?
I love her security and confidence in her faith. I love that she must know if her friends know the Truth. I love that she has asked these questions way before I was informed she asked these questions (usually by the parents, who typically couldn't answer her with any conviction). Deep down she just needs to know who she is dealing with and talking to.
If they are not Christian she doesn't love them any less or treat them different. She does pray for them. The knowledge of their beliefs helps her understand them and helps her understand if they our trustworthy.
Now we all know that just because you are a Christian does not make you wise counsel or have perfect discernment. We are all still human growing in Christ and stumble along the way. But to a 10 year old who desperately loves the Lord, she wants to make sure that she keeps her eyes open. And knowing if someone loves Christ or doesn't is a place to start.
Now the fact that she thinks that Mormon or Catholic is the only other options is due to the fact that my family was raised Catholic and she sees it and hears about it. And because I am studying the Mormon religion and she overhears conversations in the house, she realizes that the Mormon religion is not the religion of the Bible. There are also many Mormons in our community.
Life is simple as a 10 year old. You either follow Jesus or you don't. There is no middle ground. Everything is black and white. As it should be!
I love that girl:)
If they answer Christian, then she must know if they love Jesus. Who is He? Do you believe God or do you believe IN God?
I love her security and confidence in her faith. I love that she must know if her friends know the Truth. I love that she has asked these questions way before I was informed she asked these questions (usually by the parents, who typically couldn't answer her with any conviction). Deep down she just needs to know who she is dealing with and talking to.
If they are not Christian she doesn't love them any less or treat them different. She does pray for them. The knowledge of their beliefs helps her understand them and helps her understand if they our trustworthy.
Now we all know that just because you are a Christian does not make you wise counsel or have perfect discernment. We are all still human growing in Christ and stumble along the way. But to a 10 year old who desperately loves the Lord, she wants to make sure that she keeps her eyes open. And knowing if someone loves Christ or doesn't is a place to start.
Now the fact that she thinks that Mormon or Catholic is the only other options is due to the fact that my family was raised Catholic and she sees it and hears about it. And because I am studying the Mormon religion and she overhears conversations in the house, she realizes that the Mormon religion is not the religion of the Bible. There are also many Mormons in our community.
Life is simple as a 10 year old. You either follow Jesus or you don't. There is no middle ground. Everything is black and white. As it should be!
I love that girl:)
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
What do I do all day?
A friend asked what I did all day, because I always look like I am rushing around somewhere. To be honest I do not know what I do all day.
I usually workout, do my Bible study, laundry, coach.....
Sometimes I clean, sometimes I blog, sometimes I write...
Whatever I do all day, I never get it all done. My system seems to work for me because I get enough done to survive and get to another day.
Well I have to go because I need to put away groceries and pick up my daughter.
Let the lessons of today begin:)
I usually workout, do my Bible study, laundry, coach.....
Sometimes I clean, sometimes I blog, sometimes I write...
Whatever I do all day, I never get it all done. My system seems to work for me because I get enough done to survive and get to another day.
Well I have to go because I need to put away groceries and pick up my daughter.
Let the lessons of today begin:)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Lesson for Parents
Why are parents afraid to parent? This is a question I ask myself all the time. When children are yelling, behaving badly, kicking, screaming, demanding etc. I just want to say, "Would you please start parenting!" It is time to kick it into high gear.
I have a favorite saying that drives my kids nuts. When they ask me more than once for something, for example, "Can I go to my friend's house, can I have another cookie, can I watch t.v. etc.?" Once I have said no I mean no. If they ask twice I simply say,"I can't say yes because it will reinforce your behavior. And I love you too much to let you act this way."
Obedience is not an option. It is not because my husband and I have a power trip, it is because we want them to grow up and be obedient to God. If they can't listen and obey us, how will they listen and obey God?
Now if the family that has ill-mannered children are non-believers, my advice might be different Because they wouldn't understand what it means to obey God because they themselves don't obey the Creator of the Universe. It wouldn't make sense. My question to them would be, "Do you like your children?" "Do you like the child who is yelling at you and throwing his shoes in your face?" Because it is not the child's fault.
The parents have trained him to act this way. Every time a child is allowed to be disrespectful, the parent is training him to be disrespectful. They are saying with their actions it is okay to yell at me and it is okay to treat me this way.
It is time to train our child to become the adults we desire them to be. Discipline equals love. If you do not know how to lovingly discipline your child there are many resources to help. Here are my favorite:
"Dare to Discipline" by James Dobson
"Going Public" by Pritchard (I will have to look up the first name)
"Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death." Proverbs 19:18
"Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6
Don't you just love Proverbs?
I have a favorite saying that drives my kids nuts. When they ask me more than once for something, for example, "Can I go to my friend's house, can I have another cookie, can I watch t.v. etc.?" Once I have said no I mean no. If they ask twice I simply say,"I can't say yes because it will reinforce your behavior. And I love you too much to let you act this way."
Obedience is not an option. It is not because my husband and I have a power trip, it is because we want them to grow up and be obedient to God. If they can't listen and obey us, how will they listen and obey God?
Now if the family that has ill-mannered children are non-believers, my advice might be different Because they wouldn't understand what it means to obey God because they themselves don't obey the Creator of the Universe. It wouldn't make sense. My question to them would be, "Do you like your children?" "Do you like the child who is yelling at you and throwing his shoes in your face?" Because it is not the child's fault.
The parents have trained him to act this way. Every time a child is allowed to be disrespectful, the parent is training him to be disrespectful. They are saying with their actions it is okay to yell at me and it is okay to treat me this way.
It is time to train our child to become the adults we desire them to be. Discipline equals love. If you do not know how to lovingly discipline your child there are many resources to help. Here are my favorite:
"Dare to Discipline" by James Dobson
"Going Public" by Pritchard (I will have to look up the first name)
"Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death." Proverbs 19:18
"Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6
Don't you just love Proverbs?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Children Do Listen (at times)
Well like I said in the last blog, Jessie and I would talk again about the "Molly" situation. I have to say she handled it well.
Jessie and her buddy Maddie asked "Molly" to play with them at recess. "Molly" couldn't believe it. She was quite shocked actually, but was very happy to be included. They had a great day.
When we talked later about her decision to include "Molly", Jessie was realistic about the entire situation. She said she just couldn't let someone feel lonely at school. Especially if she could do something about it. She said she felt God tugging on her heart to do something.
I told her no matter what the outcome, whether "Molly" becomes a friend or not, she showed the love of Christ. And that is all He asks us to do.
Jessie was able to listen and hear God because she was paying attention. Sometimes our job as parents is to help our kids just pay attention to God. Make choices with a purpose and not an emotion.
Just a thought....
Jessie and her buddy Maddie asked "Molly" to play with them at recess. "Molly" couldn't believe it. She was quite shocked actually, but was very happy to be included. They had a great day.
When we talked later about her decision to include "Molly", Jessie was realistic about the entire situation. She said she just couldn't let someone feel lonely at school. Especially if she could do something about it. She said she felt God tugging on her heart to do something.
I told her no matter what the outcome, whether "Molly" becomes a friend or not, she showed the love of Christ. And that is all He asks us to do.
Jessie was able to listen and hear God because she was paying attention. Sometimes our job as parents is to help our kids just pay attention to God. Make choices with a purpose and not an emotion.
Just a thought....
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